Gracie ponders

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I have not blogged for quite sometime. I am a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a painter, a cook, a flower lover and arranger, and a sometimes blogger. I have always found that I have a short attention span when it comes to my interests. They are many and varied but they are not varied at the same time. I am not a juggler of my talents. My whole life Ive gone in spurts with my interests and I always know that when I do something I put 100 percent in to it, but then something gets pushed to the corner. I don’t leave the interest for good, but I put it on a shelf for a while…..

So, with that said, Ive wanted to blog about the current quarantine, pandemic, state of our country, etc. but there are so many thoughts, so many concerns so many ways to approach it, that have already been discussed, that my thoughts are jumbled when it comes to our current state of affairs. Everyone’s emotions have run the gamut.

I am a very social person, however I’m also a homebody. I love to be out and about, but I have no qualms around spending an entire weekend piddling around my house. As a matter of fact, my husband is a first class card carrying yard piddler. We have 3 acres of yard, we have chickens and a garden. He has an office at home that he spends quite a lot of time in piddling in the stock market. I have a love for flowers, painting and reading.

I’m embarrassed to say, or shocked to say that my life has not changed that drastically since the first of March, much other than becoming a bit germ paranoid. We stocked up quite well on groceries before the quarantine. My husband is a pharmacist in a grocery store chain 3 days a week, so he is able to pick up needed items. We both have our jobs, our children have been able to keep their jobs and work from home. so if I lived in a bubble and never turned on the television I would be comfortable in my bubble. But in times of trouble, bubbles are selfish places to be. The unemployment numbers are staggering. The death toll is beyond. The angst and fear that people are feeling is real and tangible and there are so many hurting and struggling. I see the healthcare workers taking such huge risks and I get anxiety just from going in the grocery store.

My husband said over a month ago that our world as we all lived and worked and played and traveled will be changed for the rest of our lives. We all know that to be true. I believe that everything prior to the end of February is the before and everything in our world after March 1 2020 is the after. My parents were both in the Navy during WW2. I heard them always say before the war………We did this or we did that. We are changed. What is God’s plan in all of this??? We turn on the tv and listen to Trump talking about Lysol Cleansing both inside and out. Ha , we hear experts, but the big question is where is God leading us all to? He always has a plan, and one of my favorite quotes by a very wise minister I know, spoke that , “If you want to hear God laugh, tell him what you are planning to do in 5 years.” Boy that makes you stop and think. It is He that has the plan. That is mind boggling to me and hard sometimes for to wrap my head around it.

God holds the folder in his file cabinet, labeled, “Life on the other side Of Covid 19 Virus 2020”. Would we not all like to glance into that? I am not a believer that God makes bad things happen. People make bad things happen all on their own. Does God fix our problems by waving a wand? I believe God gives us the chance to choose the right road, the right answers. he gives the scientists the means and brains to test and figure things out. He puts options behind the doors, for people who are struggling or have lost jobs, He has given us the tools, but we have to make the right choices and be open to stop and take direction in whatever form that is. This is not a time to be head strong and make a political statement. Keep your butt at home. Stop making an ass out of yourself trying to prove a point of your rights.

Never ever in my 56 years has the 23 Psalm made more sense to me. We are having the prettiest spring out there that I can remember. But for so many they can not appreciate the beauty right now because there is so much pain. I know that all of the words below will not pay your bills, but when you are losing hope or losing your mind with angst, this is a good place to start: Here is what God has filed away in his file drawer as to handling todays issues and I will end my blog with the NEW LIVING translation of the 23rd Psalm. Or the psalm of David…

The LORD is my shepherd,

I have all that I need.

He lets me rest in green meadows

He leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along RIGHT PATHS.

bringing honor to his name.

Even when I walk through the darkest valley,

I will not be afraid

For you are close beside me in the presence of my enemies

You honor me by anointing my head with oil

My cup overflows with blessings.

Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life. And I will live in the house of the LORD

forever…………..

I dedicate this blog to my Mom whom died on May 2 1987. She had more troubles in her life than most but tried to find the peaceful streams on the other side of the darkest valleys…